Sensitivity Training: training intended to sensitize people to their attitudes and behaviors that may unwittingly cause offense to others.
This Blog for today rated PG-13ish You have been warned…………Be afraid Be very afraid…..But if you keep an open mind and pass this blog info on to ten friends or more a purple unicorn will appear in your home at exactly midnight on Festivus and bring you your very own copy of Funk & Wagnall’s New Words for the New Age. Any reference to a real dictionary is purely coincidental.
I read an article concerning sensitivity training that Canadian teachers were subjected to and I had a moment of WTH hit me. WTH translates to What The Heck….. The point of the initials I used will become evident momentarily. The sensitivity training these teachers attended was meant to enlighten them on the topic of “LGGBDTTTIQQAAPP” Yeah, like a majority of people in the world ‘what the heck’ comes to mind with all those letters smashed together and seemingly meaning something of importance. So slowly but surely lets take a trip thru the liberal/progressive dictionary and attempt to explain what this training topic is about. Fair warning, watch where you step because this stuff is deep.
L – is for Lesbian, now we all probably know that Lesbian describes the inhabitants that populate the island of Lesbos. As a matter of fact for diversity sake this Greek island is the only place on the face of our planet where men as well as women can be called Lesbians. It’s a fact and not just because I read it on the internet. Oh yeah, in non-Islamic countries lesbians are gay women, no not the happy ones the other ones. Oh my, I guess they can be gay and happy….dang it language can be so confusing. In Islamic countries there are no known lesbians at least not for long because Mohammedans kill them on sight. Diversity as practiced by the religion of peace.
G- is for Gay, happy or not it is what it is homosexuals.
G- again is for Genderqueer, well now I never heard that one before, the definition I found describes a person who does not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions basically someone who doesn’t know or care about who or what they are.
B- is for Bisexual, a really fun person who can date anyone in the phone book and help transmit STDs to well I guess anyone who they have a relationship with.
D- is for Demisexual, another new classification? No not really, this label describes anyone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction unless there first exists a strong emotional connection with a person. This might have been once referred to as a normal relationship but hey catchy new labels mean progress.
T- is for Transgender, yeah we probably know more than we want to about these folks so we’ll just move on.
T- again is for Transexual, Ok same as the ‘people’ mentioned above but these folks are really into their T because they have had irreversible surgery to enable them to ‘method act’ their gender of choice.
T- yet again is for Two-spirit which is also new to my vocabulary. Apparently these folks are a 3rd gender not yet discovered by science and only found in the Native American population. Since this gender has yet to be discovered there isn’t much more information available but I’m sure a federally funded study will commence any day now to solve this mystery.
I- is for Intersex, In the old days before enlightenment these folks were known as hermaphrodites. For further explanation please check your own copy of Funk & Wagnall dictionary. I can take only so much information in, before my mind goes to unwanted areas and I’m afraid of what the visuals may be like when looking into this designation. Further research is definitely not pending.
Q- is for Queer, best definition I found was this is a designation for anything that identifies as abnormal or in the case of humans a slang for homosexual. No judgement just the definition I found. If your i-Phone freezes for instance someone might say’ this is queer’ or a gay person might say they are queer. Again this is another confusing word.
Q- again with the stuttering? is for questioning which is why I started this whole darn post today cause I had questions!!! Anyway the meaning here denotes people who are still in the process of deciding which of the letters and labels they are going to become at some future time. Confused?, why yes, yes they are.
A- is for Asexual or someone who has no apparent interest in sex of any kind. Probably they became disillusioned and uninterested doing too much research on all these dang letters and labels.
P- is for Pansexual which is a cheat word in my view because it just describes a bisexual person using a kitchen item. What the correlation between the two is only Dr. Ruth may know.
P- again stut,stut,stuttering is for Polyamorous who are old leftover hippies still enjoying the commune life by rolling in mud and manure with multiple partners sometimes all at the same time. Probably after smoking some wacky weed and ingesting LSD. For non-druggie people who identify with this designation choose ‘I’ll take what is it like being a Mormon for $200 Alex’. Just saying……
Anyway the national teachers union in Canada was correct sending members to this training. My goodness if adults are having trouble understanding all these letters and their definitions the little chilldrens won’t have any idea when they are being insensitive. Can’t have that now can we??????
Public service announcement: No letters of the alphabet were injured physically or emotionally by the writing of this blog. All letters used here were placed back in their safe places and securely stored for future use.
The Canadian Teacher’s Union does realize that next years training seminar may have to be postponed due to the fact a larger brochure will need to be produced to add any future letters to the already sizeable list. This would require more paper meaning more trees being killed to produce said paper and that would be insensitive to Canadian environmentalists. After all what would happen if sensitivity training was seen as insensitive? I’d like to buy a vowel Pat?……..